Weekend Recap

This weekend was a difficult one for me. I was just not in a good space, I know it was coming from the fact that on Sunday my family got together to say goodbye to our Grandma/Mom. Friday was her birthday so I was off because of that, plus I was overtired from being in the ER all Thursday night with the boyfriend. He is doing better though and it is a new week so hopefully I can shake it off.

Saturday besides dinner at Scampo, a favorite restaurant of mine I’ve been to a handful of times now, was kind of a wash so I’ll get into Sunday.

I was up nice and early getting ready for the two hour drive. I packed a small bag of sweatshirts, hiking shoes, and water and the boyfriend and I hit the road. The first stop was to visit my grandpa’s grave site and plant a blueberry bush my mom brought. As we were driving down it was down pouring and when we got to the site the rain just picked up further. We were all saying that perhaps this isn’t what grandma really wanted, maybe she was trying to send us a message. Then out of nowhere it cleared. My uncle was saying “that must be dad” and “quick before grandma wakes up”. I looked into the sky and saw her huge clouds, I leaned over to the boyfriend and said “that’s not grandpa, look it’s grandma”.

After we headed over to the hiking trail she and grandpa always walked up to scatter some of her ashes.

photo 1

A few seconds into the hike I asked my mom if we would see “newtons” on the hike. They are these orange salamanders that as a kid I use to call newtons instead of just newts. She said she didn’t know if it was the right season.

photo 4

It sure was though, they were everywhere. I took it upon myself to move them all out of the trails so they didn’t get stepped on.

We all decided that with the weird weather we wouldn’t scatter, but actually bury part of grandma’s ashes. We were going to do it by a tree until we got up to the top and there was no one there. So we put grandma right where she would have wanted to be, front and center.

photo 3

Everyone was welcome to say some words, yet I couldn’t. I would have broken down too hard. There are many things I remember and love about her, and I am confident she knows them. My mom and uncle did an amazing job saying what needed to be said. We then all wanted to get a picture of our Life is Good shirts that we wore in honor of her. We tried with a few cell phones to get a timer going, but it wasn’t working. Luckily a couple came up the trail and took it for us.

photo 5

The second before he took it, a dragonfly flew in and landed in the picture. Not a huge deal, except my family is convinced my grandpa sends us dragonflies to let us know he is watching. To be honest I was never convinced that he was, until out of nowhere that happened. I’m a firm believer now. I know they are both out there watching over their family.

photo 2

My Grandma

I lost my grandma 18 days ago. Though I’m still very sad about it, I’m becoming more at peace as I know she is always in my heart and watching over me. Today is her birthday and I’m thinking especially hard about her. Things I will always remember about my grandma.
  • Her love of music. From my earliest memories I always remember her loving music and loving people who played music. It didn’t matter what it was as long as it could be played she wanted to listen to it.
  • Peaches in a hanging basket in her kitchen every summer
  • Her love of being active, from bike riding to running to walking. She loved being on the go. Even when she could hardly walk she would take her walker and do laps around the nursing home.
  • She had a smile that would light up the world, she didn’t give it up easy but when she did it was worth it
  • She was so witty, my favorite is when my mom took her to visit my grandfather who had to be transferred to another home for a stint. It wasn’t the nicest area and when she got out of the car she remarked “well no one is going to accuse them of being pretentious.
  • Her love of traveling. I always remember cool pictures and stories from all the countries she and my grandfather visited. She loved seeing the world.
  • How proud she was of her family. She would brag whenever we would visit with her to all the people around about her family.
  • Her generosity to her family, she was always giving when I visited her, from asking if I wanted coffee or tea to bringing me into her room to give me a cookie from her secret stash. I say with her family though…grandma wasn’t as generous to non family members :)
  • She loved big fluffy cotton ball clouds and always claimed that The Berkshires, where she lived had the best. Now when I see them I know she is saying hi. photo 1 photo 2
The most important was her love of my grandpa. She had a funny way of showing it, but she made him her whole world. From being a navy wife for countless years moving from Hawaii to Japan to Maryland, it never phased her and she did it without a single word of complaint. In her later years she would always nag him, but it wasn’t because she hated him, it was because that is the way she showed she cared.
I knew that without him she was lost, she wouldn’t speak of his death and when my cousin said she wanted to name her baby after him she refused. My grandfather was her whole world and when she lost him she lost herself. Now they can be together again, traveling the world and ever present in their children and grandchildren’s lives.
Grandpa’s been walking the trail and kicking the stone by himself for a year and a half, he was finally ready for you to walk beside him.
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